Prose & Jokes

Here is a zipped file which you can download and watch.  It is in Power Point format so you have to have the Power Point viewer and the unzipping utility to be able to see it.  FurryWordsofWisdom.zip        (power point viewer can be downloaded from here)

Things Dogs Should Remember

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

Kitty box crunchies are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

Don't speed when your dog is in the car!
 

CANINE LIFE RULES   when loved ones come home, always run to greet them never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy when it’s in your best interest – practice obedience let others know when they have invaded your territory take naps and stretch before rising run, romp and play daily thrive on attention and let people touch you avoid biting, when a simple growl will do on warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass on hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree when you are happy, dance and wag your entire body no matter how often you are scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pou run right back and make friends delight in the simple joy of a long walk eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough be loyal never pretend to be something you are not if what you want lies buried, dig until you find it when someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently   Applying the above lessons to your life should make it a little less RUFF!   PRAYER OF A STRAY by Bev Davenport Dear God Please Send Me Somebody Who'll Care! I'm Tired Of Running, I'm Sick With Despair. My Body Is Aching, It's So Racked With Pain, And Dear God I Pray As I Run In The Rain. That Someone Will Love Me And Give Me A Home, A Warm Cozy Bed And A Big Juicy Bone. My Last Owner Tied Me All Day In The Yard Sometimes With No Water And God That Was Hard! So I Chewed My Leash God And I Ran Away To Rummage In Garbage And Live As A Stray. But Now God I'm Tired And Hungry And Cold. And I'm So Afraid That I'll Never Grow Old. They've Chased Me With Sticks And Hit Me With Stones While I Run The Streets Just Looking For Bones. I'm Not Really Bad God, Please Help If You Can, For I Have Become Just A "Victim Of Man!" I'm Wormy Dear God And I'm Ridden With Fleas And All That I Want Is An Owner To Please! If You Find One For Me God, I'll Try To Be Good And I Won't Chew Their Shoes, But I'll Do As I Should. I'll Love Them, Protect Them And Try To Obey When They Tell Me To Sit, To Lie Down Or To Stay. I Don't Think I'll Make It Too Long On My Own, Cause I'm Getting So Weak And I'm So All Alone. Each Night As I Sleep In The Bushes I Cry Cause I'm So Afraid God, That I'm Gonna Die! And I've Got So Much Love And Devotion To Give, That I Should Be Given A New Chance To Live. So Dear God Please, Please Answer My Prayer And Send Me Somebody Who Will Really Care... That Is, Dear God, If You're Really There.

On Abandonment

by Kathie Flood

 A dog sits waiting
in the hot midday sun;
too faithful to leave,
too frightened to run.
He’s been there for days now
with nothing to do
but sit by the road
just waiting for you.
He can’t understand
why you left him that day.
He thought you were stopping
to take him to play.
He’s sure you’ll come back
and that’s why he stays.
How long can he suffer?
How many more days?
His legs have grown weak,
his throat’s parched and dry.
He’s sick now from hunger;
he falls with a sigh.
He lays down his head
and closes his eyes.
I wish you could see
how a waiting dog dies.

Source: animalsvoice.com

~A DOG'S PLEA~ 

Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.  

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly each me the things you would have me learn. 

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear. 

Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal,  no longer accustomed to bitter elements.  I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. 

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger. 

And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun. Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. 

I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in your hand. 

Author Unknown         

~A CAT’S PLEA~  

My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be very painful. Give me time to understand what you want of me.  

Place your trust in me - it is crucial for my well being. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment. I have only you.  

Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when you speak to me. Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget it.  

Never hit me! Remember I have teeth that could crush the bones in your hand, and claws that can tear your skin... but I choose not to hurt you.  

Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, or I've been out in the sun too long, maybe I have a cold, or my heart may be getting old and weak.

Take care of me when I get old. You, too, will grow old. I have trusted you all this time.  

Go with me on difficult journeys, Never say, "I can't bear to watch it" or "Let it happen in my absence." Everything is easier for me if you are there.  

In the event something happens to me... naturally, or accidently... remember I loved you, and I thank you now, for taking such good care of me while we were together.  

Please burn a candle for me on the day of our parting, to shed light for me at the bridge. Light one for me each year on that day, to brighten your heart with the memories you carry of me. I am with you always and forever... until we meet again.

Author Unknown

Good Mechanic - SiItuated in Qormi.  He is not that expensive either.  You can pay him in fish (does not make a difference if it is cooked or raw)      I suggest you try him out

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You can never own too many dogs !!!

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Somebody poured fabric softener in the bird bath